the fathers day just went.
and boy oh boy, am i proud not to give my molester father no present today (yes he sexually touched me in childhood).
although i live with my parents still, only i realise the effect it has on my mental health. the reason for not living separately from them is a combination of loneliness factors, for both me and them.
i dont know about your parents, but my parents are expert manipulators, and the number 1 reason for my bad mental health.
in our house, my brother is the diffusor of issues between my parents. i have always had an inkling it may be because my brother is a son, a more capable option financially speaking, whereas i am gonna get married and go, probably even take some money from them.
the condition of our household is not too bad, financially speaking, but still, i never get as much support as my brother does.
which is honestly really disappointing for me. so even though they claim that we both are treated equally, it never really is the case.
my brother has the best of all, thinking now. since he gets the financial support from parents and even from my hard earned money.
while i use all his second hand me downs, he works on the computer i gifted him with my hard earned money.
which honestly makes me a bit jealous.
but then i gifted him that, so it makes more sense for me not to be jealous?
life is hard, honestly.
but seriously, indian parents are fugged up.
they will do anything for their own happiness, while undermining the happiness of another adult who deserves as much respect as them.
they just dont seem to care.
and honestly? i dont think they will ever care.
but my work is to keep trying. and that i shall.
going back to our own household again, we have an unhealthy mix of bpd (borderline personality disorder) and npd (narcissistic personality disorder), 2 psychological disorders which fuel each other.
i have bpd, and my father, i believe, has npd.
so amazing, ikr?
that is one reason why i dont like visiting him, or like it when he visits me. my mother also has psychosis, and now talking about it, feels like my whole family makes up (except my brother) a mental health asylum.
i know, i know.
some of you will argue with me. some will tell me that i am very, very wrong throughout this newsletter.
parents only care for their kid’s happiness and health.
not all, i say.
and here is the proof to back up my claims.
i could go on and on and on, but you get my point.
most indian parents arent made to be parents. full stop.
of course, i am not talking about good parents. but then, do they even exist?
Thank you for sharing 😊